A new beginning

After almost 8 years I started writing again on my blog. I hope this time I will keep it as my habit. I’m stuck at this stage. I don’t know where to go and what will happen to my future. I want to write something meaningful every day but all my ideas are gone at the minute I sit down and start writing.

Brief thought in a hot day

Visited my teacher in Viet Phap Hospital and then hearing a story of a mother. She has 4 very cute daughters from 3 to 15 years old. Now she is pregnant. She doesn’t stop having a baby unless she has a boy. At this moment, I felt very bad because she wants to have a boy,  not a baby. Fortunately, she and her husband are rich enough to nurture 5 kids. Indeed, I feel so terrible. As a consequence,  gender equality a dream of humanity and sadly, women keep it as a legacy.

http://www.today.com/parents/couple-annouce-4th-baby-make-adorable-video-tell-folks-forget-t15941

In the Saturday’s afternoon

Now it is Saturday’s afternoon. It is the same Saturdays in my life. Nothing is special. I’m sitting on a small chair, wearing a well dress and gazing out of the window while I’m typing my diary for a boring afternoon.

I often tell to Ms Yen that you need to write diary everyday, wrtie everything you want. I cannot believe that you cannot write anything. To be honest, if I have to do it everyday, i cannot do it (I have no idea)

Hmm…let’s me see. I don’t have any idea. On these rough days, I have something to tell you. But today I don’t have anything to tell you. Ah as normally, I lose all my energy and my ambitition. I don’t know why i cannot make me active. I have a burden of money and career however i don’t care. I just sit on a small brown wooden chair and watch many video (films, documentaries…) everyday. How boring my life is ?

Thoughts on rough days of my life

Dear myself,

I’m writing to you on these most hard days of my life. I have many questions need you to answer me, but I know both of us are not able to answer these.

I’m living in mess which I have made it. I have ever imaged that there is one day my life is dire. What would happen if I still worked in bank. I don’t know. I have no idea. Today, when I was talking with a Neitherland man (an English teacher), i suddenly realized how frustrated I feel with my career right now. I have put me in the situation and now i don’t know how to step put or step up.

I’m at my office. Everyday I spend money and earn small money. I’m here right now because I don’t want to go home, see my mom, face with the same questions which she asks me everyday “How is your job ?” or “How much money do you save?” I want to hide or go somewhere.

Finding new students is a challenging task. I have tried different ways however it hasn’t brought positive results. I see the future of my career. it’s not bright, unclear and risk.

There is a thing I need to do now: Take a certificate with high score. Before that I have to earn money to take care of my life, pay money back to my sister and provide money for my office. I’m really stuck.

My private life is also a mess. It’s complicated. I miss a man but I know it leads nowhere (no commiment, no future. It’s fun and relax). This afternoon, I saw the need from that teacher. How a man can see me with this view. What he thinks in his small head. It’s sick and tired. They and snakes are the same. I hate them. Sometimes, I think I’m not a good girl however I don’t regret. If I chose second time, I would do it again eventhough I made mistakes. i really want to forget them. Frédéric, I miss your arms and I miss the feeling when I’m with you. It’s quite and peaceful eventhough I know that we are strangers with each other. I need someone in my lonely nights and don’t know how to face with them. You show up. That’s enough for me. I wish you would stay by me for a long time but i know it’s my wish, my dream. Today, i heard you will come to Hanoi. I’m so excited but I couldn’t stay with you. I’m really disappointed. You are smart old man and i believe you understand what I need from you. Actually, you don’t care about it. We just meet at nights and say goodbye in the early next mornings. Should I expect in the relationship ? I’m not disappointed you, I’m up set with my self much more. What I am doing with my life ? Could you help me ? Noone can help me. If tearing made everything fine, i would cry all days however there is no magics in our life. Reality has killed my dreams. I have no dreams, no expectations, just existing. How poor I am

What happens next ?

Working life after opened windows

The photo shows an office building on the south bank of the river Thames in London. What I liked about this shot is a sense of diversity – if you look closely you will see that each floor is different, and the décor in each room has individual character. If you look even closer, you can also spot a few people here and there.

When I looked this picture, I remembered a quote from my old lost book. In this time, I can’t recall the name of this book but I still keep in my mind the plot of this story. In this book, human is compared to ants which are always busy for living and they look like going around a circle until they die. I was upset by this book a long time. Today, when I saw this picture, it recall me this feeling again. May be I am so sensitive ?

Use your power

Today, I have just watched 2 videos which were produced by EarthHour organization. This year, the sologan is “Use your power”. It draw much inspiration to me for protecting our earth.

This year, the organization eclected Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, and director Marc Webb to be superhero ambassador for our planet. They are well-known person alike all over the world, especially Andrew Garfield who played Amazing Spider Man – 2. Their duties are gathering people in the planet to protect our vital resources such as forest, water, energy …..According to this video, our responsible is not only turning off their wasted lights in EarthHour but also doing more tasks (for example: recycling paper, reserving natural enviromrent or saving fresh water….)

After watching these videos, I wondered what I should do to protect my home, my country and planet. Actually, I haven’t found correct answer yet because I’m living in Vietnam where protecting environment is less important than earning money or other demands. For me, I’m trying my best to save these necessary resources for my future (at least 20 years) and next generations. In addition, I hope that government write many environmental laws which harshly punish these people damaging environment.

My feeling about The Blacklist Season 1

 

Raymond Eddington

It has a long time I’ve seen an exciting detective film. In 1997 or 1998, I also saw an other detective film, called “Alias”. After 11 years, I was really fascinated by this film “The Blacklist”. 

The plot of this film is tracing a root of conspiracy. The main characters in this film are a father, Raymond Reddington and his daughter, Elizabeth Keen. He used to be the best spy in FBI or CIA. He had a beutiful wife, cute daughter and his life was a dream. But his life changed by someone who he has been searching for 20 years. During 20 years, he became a traitor and did lots of trades among governments, terrorists, trafficker…… After all, he lost his real life and his daughter was adopted by his friend when she was 4 years. After 20 years, he cameback and helped his daughter – a FBI agency to find the most dangerous criminals all around the world through “the Baclist” which was collected during this time he hid. Finally, protecting his daughter and finding the answer for his life are the most important targets.

Besides the interesting plot, I was also impressived with the soundtracks such as “99 problems” or “Ain’t That A Kick In the Head” – beautiful lyrics, soft and strong melody.

After all, I really love an actor who played  Raymond Reddington. He was quite old, of course he was a father but he was lovely, strong and had a gold heart. Especcially, he loved his daughter and allway keep his eyes on his daugter all the time. He is a role model for a good father.

PS: The first feeling essay about a film. So long and rambling :)))

The soundtrack in this film “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmy113gMds0”